


I Don't Love The Way You Love Me

by SexySourAlpha



Series: It Doesn't Always End Well [2]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Affairs, Angst, Cheating, Declarations Of Love, Derek is OFUCKINBLIVIOUS to Stiles' feelings, Heartache, M/M, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-30
Updated: 2013-01-30
Packaged: 2017-11-27 14:22:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/662992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SexySourAlpha/pseuds/SexySourAlpha
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I was asked to do a prequel to 'Forgive Me' and that idea sounded amazing. So I did!!</p><p>Not giving too much away: Derek and Stiles are cheating together. They are both in relationships (Derek's being more binding) and it's really wearing on Stiles.)</p><p>(You could read this as the first part and then go back to the ACTUAL story and read is as a build up if you want to.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Don't Love The Way You Love Me

**Author's Note:**

> You could read this as the first part and then go back to the ACTUAL story and read is as a build up if you want to.
> 
> But it actually starts at the first part.
> 
> And if you're triggered easily don't read this.

## Three Months Before

Stiles grabbed at the silky sheets underneath him, and gasped as Derek collapsed onto his chest, releasing his orgasm deep within him and breathing heavily. Stiles choked at the sudden weight.

 " _Fuck_...Derek you're uhmm.. _heavy._ " he reminded him as he tried to slip into a more comfortable position, because one-hundred eighty pounds of dead weight on him wasn’t the best feeling.

 Derek rolled off of him and playfully threw the caramel colored sheets over Stiles' head with a laugh. They were in one of the three bedrooms in Derek's house. This room was the one Stiles liked to call the 'blood & honey room'.

 The walls had been painted with a rich honey brown color. The paint must have cost a fortune because it looked like pure satin on the wall. The carpet was plush and dark red, soft under Stiles' feet when he first stepped into the room. The bed they were in was mostly the color of creamed coffee with accents of the same dark red of the carpet thrown throughout the room.

 Derek pulled Stiles in tight to his chest and began tickling his lower back.

Stiles had a few awkward places he was ticklish that only his mother and father had known about. Derek had now joined the club. It didn’t make it any better that Derek had a thing for tickling him. He literally did it _anytime_ he could. That didn’t mean Stiles had to like it.

 "Derek! Stop! S-s-stop seriously!" he shouted, kicking and thrashing his legs under the covers Derek had trapped them both under. Derek just laughed and kept tickling him, now moving to the crease in Stiles' inner arm. Stiles kept trying to escape his grasps, overall failing and being exposed to the inhumane tickling.

 If it hadn’t been for the alarm of Derek and Stiles’ phones going off he probably wouldn’t have been able to get away. Saved by the bell. Derek brought his hands away from Stiles as he reached over to the night stand for their phones.

“Here’s yours.” He handed Stiles his phone.

 “Thanks.” Stiles murmured as he took his phone and stopped the alarm.

This is the part that he hated. The end.

When it’s all over, and he has to remember that this isn’t his life. That he doesn’t have a _life_ with Derek. That they could never be more than this, whatever _this_ is.  He sighed as he swung his legs out of bed and picked his briefs up off the floor where Derek had thrown them when he yanked them off in their haste.

 “I love how you look in those, I don’t know why you ever wore boxers” Derek groaned from where Stiles was sure he was still lying in bed; because this was _his_ house and he didn’t need to leave. “I see Danny’s rubbing off on you…I like it” he laughed.

Stiles felt his mouth go dry.

 “Just because its 'back to reality' doesn’t mean I want to be reminded of how wrong this is.” Stiles huffed as he pulled his pants up. He didn’t mean to be so icy, but it was inevitable. His attitude always got bad after those fucking alarms went off.

“Ok…my bad.” Derek whispered.

 Stiles could feel eyes on his back, the predatory glare he was sure was mapping out the beauty marks on his back and tracing over the nape of his neck. No sooner than that did he feel a warm hand start up his back and to his shoulders where kisses were being sucked into his neck. It felt so good. And that just only made him feel worse.

 

“Why are we doing this?” he asked mostly to himself, but was still answered by Derek.

 “Because…we...love…each other.” Derek said as he kissed up Stiles’ neck to his ear. 

 Stiles could accept that. They did love each other, damn did he love Derek. Just the thought of Derek gave him a warm tingling feeling in his stomach and an extra jump to his heart. It didn’t help that he barely got to see him except for awkward run-ins at the grocery store where Kate was with him, because everyone knows that Derek can't shop for anything other than Gatorade and yogurt.

Or at the mall where he would spot the two of them before they saw him. He’d always make an attempt to hide, make himself smaller only to fail and be spotted and beckoned over by Kate herself. Which would lead into her asking him how his life was going, and telling him that he really needed to come over once in awhile because Derek needs some male company.

 Completely unaware that Stiles  _does_  come over, when she isn’t there, and that Derek  _does_  have male company…if Derek fucking him all over her beautifully furnished house counts as male company.

 

The small talk wouldn’t last that long, with Stiles telling her, and Derek, that he has somewhere to be. That it was really wonderful seeing them but he  _really_  has to go. Kate would just frown and make sure that he had their new number and Derek would just be a fucking jerk and knowingly wink at him; flashing a fucking smile that would wrench at Stiles’ heart strings.

 “Derek…are we ever going to _not_ be like this?” Stiles said turning around and gesturing to the room around them. “Because I don’t know if I can…do this forever. Is this really how you want me?” he said looking into Derek’s eyes…until the other man closed them for a long time and sighed heavily.

“I want you anyway I  _can_  have you Stiles.”

“This isn’t enough for me Derek. And aside from the sex and spending time with you…it doesn’t feel good. The  _lying_  doesn’t feel good.”

"Ok...lets talk," Derek said as he scooted over in the bed keeping the sheets over his naked frame. Stiles exhaled as Derek lovingly laid his head on Stiles' shoulder "Come on...I'm listening"

Stiles ran his fingers through his tousled hair and groaned again. "Danny...he's...falling in love with me, I can feel when he's watching me sleep, and he comes home early from work just to spend time with me. Derek, this isn't right."

"You didn't ask him to fall in love with you, that's his fault." Derek said bluntly returning to kissing on Stiles' bare shoulder. He wasn't  _getting_  it.

"Derek I'm a good person. I don't like hurting other people"

At that Derek looked up from Stiles' shoulder with a frown. "What? I'm not a good person? Is that what you're saying? Because I-"

"No. God Derek that's not what I'm saying! I'm just saying that this affair might be having more of an affect on me than it is on you"

"I don't like when you call it that" Derek said as he got out of bed and began putting his boxer briefs back on. He was most likely going to take a shower to wash away the smell of sex, the smell of Stiles on him.

"What else can I call  _it_ Derek? You're not my boyfriend. You're not my husband. You're not any-"

"I'm your lover, and you are  _mine_ " Derek said grinning as he wrapped his arms around Stiles' waist and started to kiss along his jaw to his mouth. Helpless to Derek's advances Stiles opened his mouth to receive the kiss and even deepened it.

When they separated he stared at Derek, looking over the sculpted planes of his face, his long dark lashes, the five o'clock shadow. And those heavy green eyes. Those fucking eyes. He shook his head and reached for his shirt that had flung over one of the decorative chairs in the small guest room, slipping it on and heading out the room to retrieve his shoes that were downstairs.

He heard Derek follow behind him silently, as he descended down the steps. He pocketed his phone and slipped his feet into his sandals. He was about to walk out the door when Derek grabbed his wrist softly and spun him, grabbing the sides of his face and kissing him again but this kiss was different. It had feeling, it spoke to Stiles...he just wasn't sure if he wanted to listen anymore.

Derek pulled back and looked at Stiles inquisitively, narrowing his eyes and furring his brows. He looked as if he was about to speak but decided against it. Stiles just nodded goodbye and walked out to his jeep.

* * *

 

"Stiles I don't like this. I never have." Lydia sang as she came from the kitchen with a plate of assorted donuts "It was cute before he got married, and we all know how I feel about Kate; but this is getting bad. And this…what if Danny finds out?”

Stiles frowned, “Danny won’t find out as long as you keep your mouth shut. Derek and I have this planned out perfectly, we won’t get caught. You’re the only person who knows about us.” Stiles said grabbing a cinnamon donut and pointing it at her “As long as  _you_  stay quiet we’re fine.”

Lydia rolled her eyes and took a long drawn out sip of her tea. She’d figured out what was going on between Stiles and Derek back when they were still in high school. No one had to tell her, she just figured it out. As good as Stiles was with hiding his feelings and other things from people including his dad, he had never been able to close himself off to Lydia. Even after he had moved on from her.

She had even kept it a secret then.

Yes Derek was a few years older than Stiles. Three years out of high school when their relationship started, but Lydia knew better. Stiles wasn’t stupid by any means, second smartest in their class actually, with her being number one. So she kept it to herself, it was obvious that that’s what Stiles wanted anyway. No one would have understood it otherwise.

Tall, thin, pale Stiles with limbs too long for his body with Derek Hale the rich jock who put on a façade of being a snobby, heterosexual jerk to fit the status quos that was expected of him. Lydia knew better of it.

She’d been on her daily jog, on her Sexy For Summer routine when she spotted them in the woods not too far from Hale manor. He had Stiles up against a tree and was kissing him deeply, passionately as his right hand gripped the side of Stiles’ face affectionately like he was something dear and precious; while his other hand slid into the back of Stiles’ pants and into his underwear.

And there was Stiles looking as if he would just faint and break at any moment, moaning and breathing heavily. This surely had to be a first for them. She just slowly back peddled and quietly walked the opposite direction to not disturb them. To this day she hadn’t told Stiles about that.

“Stiles, he’s been keeping you a  _secret_  since you two started this thing, _years ago_ ,” She said after taking his sip and placing her matte black teacup down on a matching coaster, “what exactly are you expecting to come from this?”

“Mwah?” Stiles asked with a mouthful of donut that he had been indulging heavily in.

“I said, what exactly you are expecting to come from this?” she repeated folding her arms and narrowing her eyes, it was time for some tough love. Stiles had definitely heard her that time because he swallowed the bit of donut and his face fell.

“Lydia…I’m gonna go-”

“You’re not _going_ anywhere until I say we’re done.” she said sternly. Stiles sat back into the couch and looked away.

“I…I don’t kn-…he’ll leave her eventually.” he said softly.

“That’s a lie and you know it. If he’s had you since you were sixteen he isn’t going to change now. He  _likes_  it this way Stiles.”

“Funny how you say he’s ‘had’ me like I’m some type of whore or something” he scoffed.

Lydia pursed her lips and intensified her stare as she cleared her throat. Stiles frowned then looked at her, mouth hanging open unbelievably.

“Are you calling me a whore? I’m not a fucking whore Lydia. I had him fucking first! Before she even came into the picture!” he yelled pointing to himself.

Lydia rolled her eyes at Stiles' choice words, “Derek was dating Sarah Geranvie when you and him started seeing each other.”

“So? That was high school. And Sarah was a fucking slut, she was passed around the entire school.” Stiles spat looking away from Lydia again and nibbling on his knuckle.

“ _So,_  you’ve never been with Derek when he wasn’t with someone,  _dating_  someone  _out in the open_  Stiles,” she said picking up her tea cup again “You’re a secret and he wants it to stay that way, he’s  _also_  a possessive bastard.” she said taking a sip.

“I didn’t know this was a bash Derek Hale party, keep enlightening me on how much you  _love_  him” he said sarcastically taking a vicious bite of the cinnamon donut and chewing roughly.

“Stiles…I just don’t want you to get hurt. This thing between you two, it won’t end well. Especially with his family and the Argents being involved. Have you seen those people? I haven’t seen an arranged marriage in… _forever_.” she said flailing a hand “ _Look_ , I don’t doubt that he loves you but you’re  _convenient_  for him. He knows you’ll always comeback to him regardless of anything…you remember that time he-”.

“Don’t.” Stiles looked over at her with a glare, his face looked purely disgusted.

 “I don’t need to hear this.” he said throwing his unfinished donut into the plate, knocking most of them to the floor. “I’m leaving.”

“Stiles I’m only trying to help!” she said putting her cup down and standing.

Stiles whipped around and stared at her for a long time before narrowing his eyes and stepping close to her.

“Pretty fucking hilarious how someone who got  _beat on_  by their own fucking boyfriend is trying to give  _me_  relationship advice.” He said maliciously, Lydia’s eyes blew out and her jaw dropped. She’d never expect for Stiles to say something like that, seeing as though  _he_  had been there through the entire situation with Alex. If he wanted to hit her where it hurt, he’d accomplished it.

“I didn’t come here for you to tell me about how much Derek doesn’t think I’m worth it, I didn’t come here for you to tell me that I’m a  _fucking whore_  with no sense of self worth! _I ALREADY_ _FUCKING_ _KNOW THAT LYDIA_!” he shouted, she could see the vein in his throat as it strained with how loud he was barking at her.

“I came here for comfort! Thanks for the fucking hospitality!” he shouted as he opened the door to her apartment and left, slamming the door behind him. Lydia stood there with the same shaken look on her face until a choked sob escaped her and she fell to the floor and cried.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm on Tumblr! <http://sexysouralpha.tumblr.com/>


End file.
